RENAISSANCE FAIR
What if I told you the “renaissance fair” is concealment …
In reality: a sect of GLOOKS went underground in 1466. They determined that the coming modernity was LAME and wanted NOTHING of it … but … they liked wenches and beer … so the Amish path would not work.
ERGO (kingly trumpets): they came up with the “renaissance fair” idea …
And they’ve been hiding there, living there, breeding there, in plain sight … for centuries. The greatest living conspiracy in the history of conspiracies.
A proposed remake plot for that movie Michael Caine was in when he was heavy into cocaine …
Perfection …
“If you get caught up in perfect, you never do better.” – Dr. Freckles
Cities and cemeteries and time …
“CITIES: you don’t homestead in a cemetery, pending.” – Dr. Freckles
Nothing left to lose …
“Nothing left to lose but victory.” – Dr. Freckles
How many kilotons …
“I just want to know how many kilotons till the end.” – Dr. Freckles
Making NAZIs …
“Bomber Harris made a LOT of good NAZIs.” -Dr. Freckles
“Worse than DRESDEN …” (is a huge underestimate)
Roughly 2,700 tons of TNT were dropped on Dresden, during the famous WW2 bombing raid. 127 square miles. This raid was considered one of the most horrific of WW2.
Between 25,000 and 70,000 tons of TNT (or 25 to 70 kilotons) have been dropped on GAZA since 10/7. GAZA is roughly 141 square miles.
That’s between 1 and 4 Hiroshimas, if we’re being conservative.
BUT MAGA FREAKS …
HOW MANY FUCKING KILOTONS OF TNT DO YOU NEED TO DROP ON 141 SQUARE MILES TO WIN?
JD Vance says “more”, but in military science that’s called vague.
Just answer that fucking question … if you can’t? – your team is probably losing.
Link: https://www.cnn.com/gaza-israel-big-bombs/index.html
BATTLE BOX …
“If your strategy works, according to your definition of victory? – then you accepted the cost of victory before the battle began.” – Dr. Freckles
IT’S YOU! (again)
Totally not like NAZIs …
SNAKES …
ENLARGED TRUNK …
EARMARKED 4 BAAL! (yay Golden Calf of Greatness)
EARMARK: RNC THEME THIS YEAR – “Golden Calf”
- WAGYU BEEF LADY
- THE WHORE of ONLY FANS
- THE ENDLESS PERSECUTION OF THE PERSECUTED LIFESTYLE STORIES
- THE GOLDEN KING
- HIS FLOCK EARMARKED
A lot of folks accepting earmarks …
Doing curses in groups …
Being led by Pharisees and Satanists.
The Whore of Only Fans sets the mood …
yeah – “family values”
The only difference between the GOP convention and the Democratic Convention? – the Democrats will simply be less elegant in hiding their evil. But it’s still the same SATAN sandwich.
LITERALLY HITLER!
I am LITERALLY HITLER …
I literally invaded Russia and shit, and stole the DIAMONDS and GOLD and BITCOIN and BITCHES …
I stole the virginity of the 9 stelvic-chambermaids …
I built rockets from cocaine drek, and left a mark on HASTINGS STREET as the English funken-folk run and hide from flying debris and swamp tree failures.
I knew …
After I read Mein Kampf in college …
And I said to myself: “this is retarded”
I knew I could LITERALLY BE Hitler …
As LITERALLY HITLER, I have formed a 7 million man army of McPoyles, armed with blades and glades and stars and bars … they carry flamethrowers and grenades … they fly paragliders armed with boxcutter machine guns … literally flying NAZIS …
People say: “Dude, what’s it like being LITERALLY HITLER?”
I tells ya … it’s exciting as FUCK …
Constantly dodging bullets, like NEO in the MATRIX, every sloped rooftop hiding some new danger.
I have organized the 23 lesbian sky navies into ONE UNIFIED FIST, and with that FIST we will penetrate the defenses of the BUSTY QUEEN FESTUS and her WITCH MAIDENS of Cheyenne. After several days of wrestling and scantily clad jungle chases, the LESBIAN SKY NAVIES achieve total orgiastic victory. Literally the way HITLER DID IT.
I remember one time, when I was downtown, LITERALLY acting like HITLER, I met up with the supreme LEADER of IRAN.
We discussed action plans against the DOOB-GERMS of Skinctous, and how we shall defeat them AND their porn star ways. But we acknowledged that even though they LIE about having nuclear weapons, they probably have a few hundred by now … IYKYK
And if that wasn’t bad enough, I LITERALLY invaded Chipotle, and screamed at the server for leaving semen in my taco. Something Hitler would ACKJEWALLY do.
But wait, there’s more …
As LITERALLY HITLER, I have built a TIME DEVICE in 2036.
The TIME BUTTON is the ULTIMATE LITERALLY-HITLER plan …
In the year 2035, using money from PROJECT 2025, I built a Degausser for the general causality field …
Like the button on your CRT back in the day (IYKYK), every time I press the BUTTON the timeline gets its static removed, and electrons aligned …
It’s not a perfect process, and many people poop their pants every time I press that fucking button in 2036 … BUT AS LITERALLY TIME HITLER … I have no choice.
So yeah: Literally Hitler says FUCK YOU … I’m Hitler … literally …
As literally Hitler … it gets lonely …
I have needs, and defiling chambermaids as I conquer RUSSIA is not enough for me … I need love, companionship …
If you are LITERALLY EVA BRAUN? – you can call me … I literally hope you do.
I was thinking about how McPoyle almost whacked the guy …
And if he had been LITERALLY HITLER, he would have used Gewehr 98 … literally what Hitler does when he wants the JOB done right.
TRUMP is NOT literally Hitler – this is an insult to all time-Hitlers …
Trump is LITERALLY a scum bag that maximized DEBT, chapter-11 bankruptcies, some money from his parents, and the crony politics of NY State and New Jersey … that’s literally just a used condom salesman … not literally Hitler … so stop it.
Point is: Trump is a used condom salesman, not literally HITLER …
AS LITERALLY HITLER, I intend to take care of “suburban WHITE WOMEN” first … they are a scourge.
They will be rounded up and made to fight in pits filled with brown gravy and rotten eggs … they will be bound in burlap and feathers, and will wear makeup of axle grease … literally the best IDEA Hitler has had since Barbarossa …
One thing I LITERALLY get sick of? – STAR WARS.
They literally made all the movies they needed to: ep4-6
It’s not my fault that George Lucas doesn’t understand how to count … literally the guy pisses me off.
As TIME HITLER, I will construct a tunnel back to 1976, and take out the whole shebang …
Literally didn’t see that coming, did you?
As LITERALLY HITLER, I can tell ya …
Biden suffers from OLD SCHOOL STAR TREK Hitler disease …
Now this next topic is painful, literally …
There are people who cheat you out of jobs and steal your gold.
There are people who RUN HOLLYWOOD, and the banking system, literally everything.
They provide weapons to both sides in every war …
They steal land and food from the poor.
They DRINK baby’s blood …
They CHEW their cud.
They sell their PORN to the lost and lowly …
We dare NOT utter the name, but we must – if we are JUST.
THE DANISH PROBLEM … literally the worst thing in the world.
THE WORLD CANNOT ABIDE THE DANES … not one.
Of course, LITERALLY BEING HITLER? – I have a plan.
I’ve built an orbital battle station, to fight in the GREAT BATTLE BOX to come …
It’s armed with a PLOTON CANNON that fires bullets of frozen whale semen …
It’s a beam, that shoots its load …
Right into the SEAM, and you know what I MEAN.
“The problem with DENMARK is there are too many DANES …”
PRIMA NOCTA
PRIMA NOCTA
PRIMA NOCTA
And if you say:
“Well shit Hitler, literally Hitler, you’ll just make whale-Dane hybrids …”
And my response:
“Then maybe they’ll crawl back into the dark and ugly sea from which they sprung …”
Literally how Hitler rolls …
One more thing …
I am literally Hitler.
If you think you know what happened on 7/13?
(you’re literally retarded)
As LITERALLY THE HITLER?
It will be MY JOB, MY GREAT WORK … to bring together ALL HITLERS … !!!
There’s Zionist Hitler, obviously – he owes me 5 marks.
There’s black Hitler and Chinese Hitler …
There’s Eskimo Hitler, he’s really cool …
There’s Jamaican Hitler and Mexican Hitler …
Japanese Hitler is our gravitas.
And last, but not least, Filipino Hitler …
Spoiler: he looks like Steve Perry …
It’s my JOB to bring together all racialist Hitlers …
Even SHARK WEEK HITLER is welcome …
(not Karen though)
HOWEVER …
We’ll NEVER FORGET GAY HITLER … ever …
And now the MASTER RACE … the RACE of HITLERS … is born …
PENNY Dreadful
MP3: https://planetarystatusreport.com/mp3/20240717_Penny_Dreadful.mp3
Donate: https://www.paypal.com/paypalme/doctorfreckles
This week’s winners: https://planetarystatusreport.com/?p=12652
IWO JIMA: https://planetarystatusreport.com/?p=12660
The Ultimate Weapon: https://planetarystatusreport.com/?p=12646
Your coping: https://planetarystatusreport.com/?p=12644
Don’t trust the media: https://planetarystatusreport.com/?p=12641
The attempted assassination of Blump: https://planetarystatusreport.com/?p=12634
Confession of Dan: https://planetarystatusreport.com/?p=12626
Leisure suit Larry: https://planetarystatusreport.com/?p=12624
DB Cooper: https://planetarystatusreport.com/?p=12673
Cannibal pain: https://planetarystatusreport.com/?p=12622
10K Clock: https://planetarystatusreport.com/?p=12618
Burn them all down: https://planetarystatusreport.com/?p=12667
Stages of Communism: https://planetarystatusreport.com/?p=12670
Cycle of Disappointment: https://planetarystatusreport.com/?p=12682
Voting and Disappointment …
“The American system of elections is a cycle of disappointment.” – Dr. Freckles
It really is like Christmas for a lot of people …
You get a couple months of EVENTS …
Then you get together with friends before and AFTER you “vote” …
Some people are immediately disappointed the day of the election.
Everyone is mostly disappointed a year later.
(then they tell you that it can be “fixed” … if you vote again)
Just like Christmas and Santa. Not for adults.
MYSTERY MAN (Tyler Labine)
“We know more about DB Cooper than we know about JD Vance.” – Dr. Freckles
STAGES of COMMUNISM …
Stages of Communism:
Stage 1, BUSY BODY HOA: why can’t my neighbors stop playing loud music? – I could talk with them, but instead I’m forming a Klungit-gang.
Stage 2, MINARCHISM: FUCK if only we had a tiny KING to keep us safe.
Stage 3, VOTING: WE CAN VOTE FOR KINGS …
Stage 4, NEO-STALINIST HELLHOLE: fuck
Stage 5, COLLAPSE …