Day: July 2, 2024

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We hired someone …

MP3: https://planetarystatusreport.com/mp3/20240702_We_hired_someone.mp3

Donate: https://www.paypal.com/paypalme/doctorfreckles

We hired someone:

We’re getting SEA-FLOW up and running, so we’re hiring spider-herders and grease farmers and tube masters and gizz-specialists …

All kinds of new people at work.

We hired a 72 year old at work.

Yes, she’s hotter than my HORBLIX-GWERMER.

But she’s not my best pipe fitter. She doesn’t make skleeve pudding. She hasn’t seen me eat debly-tiger, and decided she loves my grease pipe anyway.

So, I’ll pass. Thanks.

There’s this new front desk girl named DERBY BENZ …

She has a garden with hens and talks about OLD TIME McNuggets. Her moms go to church at the 56th Eagle Chapel, where Doc Nord talks of Hell cannon and Moroccan Piss dreams … When the KEZ-MEN get done at lunch, and the heavous-salsa weighs heavy? – You can see them sizing things up, and imagining “late night copy center mix ups” … or something sleazy in the breakroom.

But not for me, I’m focused on SEA-FLOW …

We have a new delivery boy, he calls himself Thomas Bard.

His eyes are yellow and his hands shake, his mind is a graveyard of turbulence and horror. When you talk to him, he looks at you, stares inside your brain-case … and then just walks away, to move box mania further towards the END.

He ain’t no friend, not with cast iron smiles. He stinks of jerky and vodka and lost dimple franchise strippers.

But he’s not making gravy for Charlene no more.

Onion: keep pealing that onion, keep going down the hole …

MEME WAR 3: https://planetarystatusreport.com/?p=12511

Where it’s going: https://planetarystatusreport.com/?p=12503

Wind Directions: https://planetarystatusreport.com/?p=12498

Eating People: https://planetarystatusreport.com/?p=12380

HIV Drug Commercials: https://planetarystatusreport.com/?p=12426

Madness: https://planetarystatusreport.com/?p=12383

Coarseness: https://planetarystatusreport.com/?p=12390

What is Grinken Time?: https://planetarystatusreport.com/?p=12495

Danica and the Reptiles: https://www.whiskeyriff.com/2024/06/26/danica-patrick-apparently-believes-justin-bieber-adele-are-lizard-people-discusses-how-to-spot-reptilians-on-her-podcast/

Protection racket for freedom: https://planetarystatusreport.com/?p=12429

Dreams and Nightmares: https://planetarystatusreport.com/?p=12370

Hackers: https://planetarystatusreport.com/?p=12397

LOVE and TECH: https://planetarystatusreport.com/?p=12434

Why the rush?: https://planetarystatusreport.com/?p=12401

Sheep dipping: https://planetarystatusreport.com/?p=12472

Millionth Council: “Every living thing on this planet has an aura. The area that you are discussing now is the aura of this planet. It is a communicative channel through which the Millionth Council governs this planet. Anyone going into this area when the communication channel is open do not disappear, but they are in the timeless void. They are all alive and well. It is the only area through which the council can communicate with this planet.”

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SEPROCON

MP3: https://planetarystatusreport.com/mp3/20240702_SEPROCON.mp3

Donate: https://www.paypal.com/paypalme/doctorfreckles

SEPROCON:

On this day in 1865 the ZLOGON-FORCES of General Chives defeated the pirate lesbian navies of Queen Coozba …

All YOOP ARMIES are on alert …

When the RIMULACK DYRE PRIEST froze the Witch of Foof, we knew the gorgon would relinquish their control of QUADRANT 55. And the joob throng from Bunkton rose up against Mr Willy’s and their all day long Chinese buffet … and who stood up to that? The swarthy and dusky grob-legions from Texas Roadhouse.

On this date in 1865 Dr. Skleevis McDoogle discovered the healing power of SORBITOL …

He healed the orphans of sector 88 and left the woody blow-bin rascals to die in the lost desert of Tlyb.

On this day in 1865, the harlot minx forces of Genda Shloob took on the dragon warriors in region-XRAY. After several days of fighting the women folk of all tribes tore off their clothes and wrestled naked in the HOOKER PITS of Colorado.

We honor on this day the great battle between Captain Avatar of the ARGO and the NAZI ROBOT FORCES of Hizzler … the TIME HITLER …

After several parallel and ongoing time wars, the STAR FORCE under AVATAR was victorious, but the time line still sucks.

There was this day in 1865, 6/19 to be precise …

When Clint Jackson of the 45th XERXES DIVISION defeated MS-13 in the Battle of Gipsy. 45,000,000 people were killed that day, when the death star fired its ray and everyone learned they were gay.

But what about the Sklubbin-jergs that fought the skoogiz-knights?

WOOG soldiers were moving METH to the Roman Armies at Constantinople, when WOLF MAN JACK told the bell keepers to wrestle crocs in Baltimore. But we never knew the horrors of the ego-maniacs, the spezz-dormers, the ones that lived in the gutters and told tales of squirrel macaroni … that’s Seprocon too …

When will we tell the truth about Seprocon?

About the crimes it covers up and the false heroes it erects?

When will the GRIZZLY ADAMS types go back into the woods to harvest the owl-clams and feed on cougar-spice and trout tacos …

YOUR TIME IS NOW … and the breed is born late.

You don’t know …

There were 12 henchmen, armed with cucumber crossbows and singing songs of GOOBER NUTT PIZZA …

WE could have been KINGS … but we sold our peanut butter heritage for 500 acres and a TESLA. The glowing light of liberty was put out, and the government cheese cave was emptied.

A lot of folks are celebrating SEPROCON by eating BBQ … this is racist.

Some of you are watching Dave Chapelle while drinking a chilled white wine … this is also racist.

I can see YOU just grilling and chilling, smoking a doobie and listening to Bob Marley … this is so fucking racist.

Whiteness … what a curse.

whiteness is mainly about the bleak horror show that is the permanently disenfranchised slave cadres whose ancestors lived in a jungle hell and fought hard and lived thoroughly while harvesting cotton for an evil manor-lord who would whip and beat but never look at his broken soul … ya know …

Why can’t we fight for totalistic racialist justice?

We could build star cruisers, powered by advanced fission/fusion reactors, patrolling the edge of our solar system at 15% the speed of light …

Our DOG CHASING WAYS was distorted, and we settled for failed styrofoam schemes and wooden dreams, and SEPROCON left us cold.

On day one of the RACE WAR …

ZOGLON-DEMONS will ride Harleys down to Compton, so that the EAST LA FREAK GANGS can sell latinx pill boovula to the skulls.

Kids from the WONDER BREAD realm will score CRANK from Sam, but someone is gonna go for a “train ride” – probably your sister.

They want to pass laws legalizing TOOG-MEAT.

TOOG-MEAT is neat, it’s made from old discarded loved ones and delinquent youth running from the MAN.

The local store says “appealing shapes”: bacon, steak, dogs, lasagna … TOOG-MEAT in appealing shapes.

And you say you’re broke?

It’s over: https://planetarystatusreport.com/?p=12411

COLON: https://planetarystatusreport.com/?p=12466

Knighthood: https://planetarystatusreport.com/?p=12452

Just desserts: https://planetarystatusreport.com/?p=12478

Naïve Atheism: https://planetarystatusreport.com/?p=12447

Hanging Gardens: https://planetarystatusreport.com/?p=12463

Patterns: https://planetarystatusreport.com/?p=12455

Herpes Clear: https://planetarystatusreport.com/?p=12437

Dating: https://planetarystatusreport.com/?p=12475

Life guards: https://planetarystatusreport.com/?p=12423

Colonoscopy: https://planetarystatusreport.com/?p=12469

Nobody is talking about it: https://planetarystatusreport.com/?p=12404

Food: https://planetarystatusreport.com/?p=12507