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If I were the devil …
If I were the Prince of Darkness,
I’d want to engulf the whole world in darkness.
And I’d have a third of its real estate,
and four-fifths of its population,
but I wouldn’t be happy until
I had seized the ripest apple on the tree — Thee.
So I’d set about however necessary
to take over the United States.
I’d subvert the churches first —
I’d begin with a campaign of whispers.
With the wisdom of a serpent,
I would whisper to you as I whispered to Eve:
‘Do as you please.’
To the young,
I would whisper that ‘The Bible is a myth.’
I would convince them that man created God
instead of the other way around.
I would confide that what’s bad is good,
and what’s good is ‘square.’
And the old,
I would teach to pray,
after me,
‘Our Father, which art in Washington…’
And then I’d get organized.
I’d educate authors in
how to make lurid literature exciting,
so that anything else would appear
dull and uninteresting.
I’d threaten TV
with dirtier movies
and vice versa.
I’d pedal narcotics to whom I could.
I’d sell alcohol to ladies and gentlemen of distinction.
I’d tranquilize the rest with pills.
If I were the devil
I’d soon have families
that war with themselves,
churches at war with themselves,
and nations at war with themselves;
until each in its turn was consumed.
And with promises of higher ratings
I’d have mesmerizing media
fanning the flames.
If I were the devil
I would encourage schools
to refine young intellects,
but neglect to discipline emotions —
just let those run wild,
until before you knew it,
you’d have to have drug sniffing dogs
and metal detectors
at every schoolhouse door.
Within a decade I’d have prisons overflowing,
I’d have judges promoting pornography —
soon I could evict God from the courthouse,
then from the schoolhouse,
and then from the houses of Congress.
And in His own churches
I would substitute psychology for religion,
and deify science.
I would lure priests and pastors
into misusing boys and girls,
and church money.
If I were the devil
I’d make the symbols of Easter an egg
and the symbol of Christmas a bottle.
If I were the devil
I’d take from those who have,
and give to those who want
until I had killed the incentive
of the ambitious.
And what do you bet
I could get whole states
to promote gambling
as the way to get rich?
I would caution against extremes
and hard work in Patriotism,
in moral conduct.
I would convince the young
that marriage is old-fashioned,
that swinging is more fun,
that what you see on the TV
is the way to be.
And thus,
I could undress you in public,
and I could lure you into bed
with diseases for which
there is no cure.
In other words,
if I were the devil
I’d just keep right on doing
what he’s doing.
Paul Harvey, good day
- Paul Harvey (1965)
Ref: https://www.wordandwork.org/2018/02/paul-harveys-if-i-were-the-devil-transcript-from-1965/
Paul Harvey was born in 1918, a time of great conflict.
Paul Harvey DIED in 2009, a time bullshit and pain.
During his time on the stage, with tempered rage and wit to balance, he silenced critics with his wispy homespun perspectives and his Cadillac style vibrations. Some say he INVENTED that CALM TALK DRIP, that AFTERNOON CHAT TRIP, that VOICE over AM RADIO that soothed you, as you yelled about GAS PRICES and urinated on pictures of Jimmy Carter.
One might contend that the PAUL HARVEY EFFECT is about this NEW WAY he invented, for engaging with HI FIDELITY listeners – but this is misleading. Paul’s dark craft swerved further under wraps, as CASE MONKEYS and other DORBAN HUSTLERS moved WEST from Philly.
Paul was born in Oklahoma, the son of a COP. His dad was killed by robbers in 1921.
Paul made radios as a kid, and attended the standard public schools.
Paul SERVED in WORLD WAR TWO and sailed the ocean blue, he met thieves and pirates and wayward travelers – in 1944 he met Jorgen Tull, a NAZI defector and crystal meth manufacturer. They got cooking.
Paul moved to CHICAGO after WW2, where he and Jorgen set up their first METH FACTORY in a cavernous sewer below the FIELD MUSEUM. Paul used his cover as a “radio guy” to make connections in the then GROWING DRIVE TIME RADIO world; in that world you have helicopter pilots, and SKY WARRIORS, weathermen and pimp lords. This is NOT KNOWN to many, and is denied by most – so you never know, right?
CIA was BRAND NEW back then, and ALLEN DULLES wanted to inject LSD into the scrotum sacks of priests and nuns and the pope. Paul worked with the CIA to get a USAF home-cook up and running for METH PILLS – them F-86 pilots in the Korean Theater did better against MIG-15s if they had some meth … as it happens, the same formulation that goes into ADHD drugs today.
In 1951, ABC news debuted PAUL as their “noon time” lunch guy. He’d speak words to those animals, working their hours in the coyote mills and ash factories, and thereby maintain a level of PEACE and CONTROL over those teaming masses of the future. Baby boomers, still kids, would eat chocolate ho hos and chuckle, not knowing the secrets, barely understanding the rumors. Paul was a groomer, he was a loomer, he LOOMED LARGE over AMERICANA, as it grinded out babies and nukes and cars.
Paul was an avid pilot, and was responsible for distributing the METH that he and Jorgen cooked each week. Sometimes Jorgen would come along for the ride. One trip, in 1958, they were delivering METH to Stoogsville, ARKANSAS, and a young man, Bill Clinton, made $50 a day setting up landing strips with flashlights and bonfires – guiding in the planes to drop of METH, weed, coke, and various trafficked men/women/children for the torture factories in LA and NYC. Jorgen and Bill became good friends, and later facilitated the coke pipelines in REAGAN’S AMERICA, ensuring the flow for the burgeoning crack epidemic. At one point the BUSH FAMILY bought nearly HALF of all Paul’s weekly batch, and this troubled Jorgen, but Jorgen as a former NAZI understood – the lust for power and its synergy with METH STYLE living.
In 1965, after 20 years of continuous METH use, Paul had a psychotic break. He began talking in riddles, and eventually his “PAUL HARVEY EFFECT” was felt. During a broadcast in 1965, he URGED ON the “true race” to HOLD BACK against the dusky masses. And Jorgen smiled.
TAKE DOWN that ANGRY BLACK SCAR,
you sit at the bars drinking watermelon cider,
eating BBQ pie?
Your HATE is TOO LATE my friends,
because the TRUE RACE NEVER ENDS,
and our WHITE POWER glows,
our white powder flows,
and MAN will STAND TALL SOON,
when we let go of tired sorrow.
- Paul Harvey, 7/6/1965
THIS RADIO TIRADE ENRAGED BLACK AMERICA … General Hutu-Bomgabbi of the EAST LA GONDO-LORDS spoke out against Paul, and demanded “immediate street action and gutter style violence”. A few weeks later, WATTS was in flames, LA was groaning under the weight of 500 years of oppression and the “Middle Passage” and other kinds of sideways bullshit.
You see, Jorgen Tull was Danish. Jorgen new HATE SCREECHING and RACE RANTING. He felt the pathetic rush as the vitamin-D deficient prance around in funny costumes.
Hitler recruited Jorgen in 1934 after a “tasting party” at the annual Thule Society soirée and sex banquet. Hitler knew the DANES had the darkest spirits, and could reveal the twisting ways of physics and interracial love affairs. You see, Hitler was in love with a young woman named Debra Hastings – Debra had escaped Oklahoma after the TULSA RACE MASSACRE of 1921; the same time period when Paul’s dad was killed. Debra had been LIVING IT UP in BERLIN, and at that time very few cared about her dark skin.
Debra was African-American, sweet and smart. She was chesty and had smiles. When she hugged Hitler, Adolf forgot about his pain and failure. He forgot about his oaths of revenge. He forgot about his failed career painting postcards, he just saw her, bathed in her light. BUT, HITLER was leading the ARYAN RACE towards TOTALISTIC VICTORY against the GENKEN-BROOD and the other lost forces of Mistress Vromm of Beef Torpedo fame. Hitler had promised “racial purity”, but he only knew one thing when he looked into Debra’s eyes – that he loved her, that he wanted to plant pretty little babies in her.
When Hitler tried Jorgen’s METH, this opened up conversations about “24 hour military operations” and “dive bomber STUKAS” and all kinds of things meth-heads talk about when they’re HIGH.
“Jorgen, what can I do about this love?”
“You must free her and remember BRAVE GERMANY …”
“But I can’t stop loving her.”
“You will, if you want my METH.”
Now, years later, Hitler defeated, Paul meets Debra – and falls in love too.
A fiery 1960’s meth fueled ROMP through the dungeon keeps of old America. Debra was older than Paul, but she had experience with love-squeezing and body juice sharing. Paul would GO DOWN on her like some ancient dirty diver, swimming for that pearl in her onyx soup. All of this is to say that JORGEN did not fancy this at all, and HE was going to stop it – again … because HE SECRETLY LOVED Debra too … fuck … fuck this is sad.
This was a love triangle that stretched across time; because unknown to Paul Harvey and his meth freak friend Jorgen, Hitler was NOT dead.
In April 1945, as part of a secret NAZI experiment with relativistic effects, Hitler was transported 20 YEARS into the future – to Kecksburg, PA. The device or “Bell”, was hyper-chamber utilizing dual-plasmatic EMF immersion with QUADROPHONIC sound and sexy results. The device glowed before their eyes, as HITLER slipped two decades beyond the WAR and all of its terror.
Hitler showed up in 1965 and was experimented on by the CIA: his arms were ripped off and then sewn back on, he had roach gelatin injected into his skull, cobra venom was put in his food and his testicles.
Hitler spent months in ONE MK-ULTRA experiment after another, being jabbed and isolated. He had loud noises at HIGH DECIBELS directed at his ear drums. He had sulfuric acid injected into his spine. But in 1969 Hitler escaped and after a few months of wandering America, he ended up in Chicago at Roger’s Cabaret in Boy’s Town.
It gets more sordid …
Because PAUL was with DEBRA at Hooglies off of Dirgen Street in December 1969. They were at a CHRISTMAS PARTY being hosted by Barbara Streisand, when HITLER and JORGEN showed up – they were both SUPER DRUNK and super belligerent. It got saucy. Hitler, filled with cocaine and whiskey and rage, grabbed Debra by the arm and shouted “you’re going with me”, but she didn’t want to. Paul was none to happy either …
Paul was carrying a switchblade and pulled it. He shoved that knife deep into Hitler’s chest, and blood sprayed all over the club – as the TEEGLIE boys and “late night shoppers” went running back home to Evanston, to play “daddy” again.
Jorgen stood by and just watched these beasts go at it, and then he moved closer to Debra as the fight turned into madness …
“Hey baby.”
“Jorgen, you BASTARD”, Debra slapped him across the face.
“Baby I know … I’m sorr …”
“Stop right there, you tore me away from my first love … you got Hitler addicted to crank and racism and setting shit on fire … FUCK YOU JORGEN.”
Debra walked away, she was tired of their busted up minds.
The bar shut down and it was Hitler and Paul Harvey and Jorgen the DANE, alone, sharing a booth in the darkness, drinking stale whiskey and smoking damp cigarettes.
Hitler got real silent, with toilet paper shoved into the hole in his chest. But then after several minutes, he mumbled:
“What did I do it for, the war, the death, the hate?”
IT WAS AT THAT MOMENT that PAUL had a revelation …
Paul got on a plane the very next morning, he was HEADING TO CALIFORNIA to meet with his friend Ronald Reagan, THE GOVERNOR of the state.
Paul went directly to Reagan’s compound in Pasadena, where Reagan kept Mexican slave girls and ran a nightclub for the militarists and pederasts of LA. It was a skeevy place, filled with those swollen-lechers that are typically found near the SLEAZY WHARFS of San Francisco. Paul was shocked by the blood shakes and the long-pig pizza.
Reagan brought Paul to his secret room, a special office for eldritch rites and experiments on French bulldogs. They talked for HOURS and then Paul went back to his hotel. On the WAY to his hotel, Paul was run off the road by the Manson Family, and taken back to Spahn Ranch. Charles sang songs for Paul, and they shared ideas about black people and Jews and Danes and the Beach Boys.
It was within this KILN of AWARENESS that Paul’s mind baked …
Paul had been pressed to the ultimate point of ripping and he had a VISION, this is a fragment of what he told Charles:
If GOD arrived,
covered in ants,
morbidly saccharine,
like the ancient burly beasts ...
If GOD came back,
for a lightning attack,
taking with him the sinners,
taking with him the slackers,
he'd have backers: like Gen Westmoreland.
We could CAVE RAPE the VIETCONG,
but our blood merchant fantasy soon ends.
Our friends abandon us to the silk parlor,
for hours,
for love,
the steam fills every CRACK,
and we're DONE with Charlie Swift,
and we're through trying ...
This is a long winded way of saying:
THE PAUL HARVEY EFFECT was to SPREAD METH and get bikers addicted. The bikers, listening to Paul and Hitler and Jorgen and Chuck were infected with a mind virus that spread. This led to EASY PAYDAY LOAN businesses being opened up in many cities, in the poorest parts of town; and later, led to strategic land purchases for building convenient Planned Parenthood abortion shoppes.
THE VIRUS of RACISM went everywhere: into books and crooks and old crones, baking coffee peach scones, and making their bones off of HEROIN CAKE.
All the nation caught fire, and racism led to META-RACISM and META-RACIMS led to CRITICAL RACE THEORY and that led to BLM-ANTIFA and CHOP / CHAZ and LORD RAZ making a gable closet of loose women with big tits ….
You don’t KNOW because no one told you.
Hyper-Racism is the ACKNOWLEDGMENT that the PEOPLE are WHITE-TRASH, even if their skin color is BLACK. Black, yellow, green, white, brown, blue, we DGAF. We don’t care, you are part of the same meat pie as the rest.
Paul Harvey doomed us.
We didn’t come this far because we’re made of sugar candy. Once upon a time, we elbowed our way onto and across this continent by giving smallpox-infected blankets to Native Americans. That was biological warfare. And we used every other weapon we could get our hands on to grab this land from whomever.
And we grew prosperous. And yes, we greased the skids with the sweat of slaves. So it goes with most great nation-states, which—feeling guilty about their savage pasts—eventually civilize themselves out of business and wind up invaded and ultimately dominated by the lean, hungry up-and-coming who are not made of sugar candy.
- Paul Harvey, 6/23/2005
G.M.F.Y.I.L.Y.
