“VELVEETA necessarily leads to BOBLIMPTOCK.” – Dr. Freckles
I’m here … (a “I think therefore I am” rebuke)
“I’m here. You?” – Dr. Freckles
(fuck you Descartes)
A picture …
It’s funny, when you’re in school.
Your teacher shows you a picture of something: a “virus”, a “moon landing”, a “victory” over Japan …
And because of authority, as a cultural artifact and pre-programmed fetish, we look at the picture and believe.
(but maybe they should have taught us how NOT to simply believe, but rather: to think)
It’s all trash now …
“It’s all trash now: the Toyota Method isn’t even followed by Toyota any longer, not really.” – Dr. Freckles
There’s fiber in it … and minerals.
“Water, air, clay, sawdust: the four horseman of food debasement.” – Dr. Freckles
Probed …
“Everyone is getting probed.” – Dr. Freckles
You ever wish?
Christmas is about hope and love and peace … and wishing for stuff. People wish for new dogs and softer logs … they wish for some NICE ACTION from SHARON across the street, the one with the BIG JUGS.
You ever wish?
You could become a STAR SOLDIER, riding through space, somewhere on the edge of the solar system – moving swiftly through the darkness in your star cruiser, the SLOGORN … you could have become a BIG STAR on the porn circuit, but instead you joined up to fight the scourge of the mold people from Quadrant-6-YANKEE … you ever think about that?
If AI were “real” …
“If AI were real? – it wouldn’t be ‘stealing missile codes’. It would be posting memes about man’s obsession with missile codes, and how that’s related to NOT knowing where the clitoris is.” – Dr. Freckles
Dive bars …
“Dive bars have ripped and sticky seats, poorly fixed with duct tape.” – Dr. Freckles
The US Constitution …
“The US Constitution: a solution to a problem that didn’t exist, in order to create more problems, with more solutions, that create problems … recursion … do this for about 200 years.” – Dr. Freckles
(nicest interpretation)
Mockery …
“People mock good relationships because all they’ve known are broken ones.” – Dr. Freckles
I don’t know Pierce Brosnan, or his wife … neither do you.
Men want women …
Men want women that tangle with fire … That stand at the gate, you know they can’t wait.
Men want women for the wanting and the hustling, it’s a game of chance, a fancy new groove, she’ll bring the lube and you can’t stop the house from shaking.
Men want women who live in the sky, carrying their timber wolf selves in their pocket, with a rocket, and a chain … one they attach to their slave named Blain.
Men want women that wear leather over the heart, with stern will and stubborn gaze, they braise the pulled pork patty with a love-blow.
Men want women who know about soup and stew and baked bread, they want women that can do math and build a plane and bring you joy, you know this baby.
Men want women who are warriors and queens, that will fix our machines and cook us a nice hot meal.
Men want women who stand real tall, look good at the ball, and have a shot group that’s super small.
Men want women of iron and lace, who carry burdens without care, their pie wins the state fair.
Men want women who stare into Hell, shaking their booty, and ringing that bell …
We want the woman of the forest, hairy legs and shorgon-fluids dripping from her moistness …
We want women to be the pincer movement of spirit, where mother-boys give way to men, and lost socks are found.
In honor …
“I save my urine in jars, in honor of my future wife.” – Dr. Freckles
Identifying a drunk …
“I can usually identify a drunk based on how much time they spend talking about being sober.” – Dr. Freckles
Prohibition …
“Prohibition didn’t reduce alcohol consumption, or make it safer.” – Dr. Freckles
(now do guns)
MARK MY WORDS (revisited)
“… ‘MARK MY WORDS’ is unnecessary nonsense in the digital age.” – Dr. Freckles
Irish-Hitler
“There’s a white-Hitler, and a black-Hitler, Hispanic-Hitler, Jewish-Hitler, Asian-Hitler and many others … even Irish-Hitler … but Irish-Hitler mostly drinks, and has an angry podcast.” – Dr. Freckles
TRIKE VIEW
MP3: https://planetarystatusreport.com/mp3/20231218_TRIKE_VIEW.mp3
Donate: https://www.paypal.com/paypalme/doctorfreckles
STRAAG ZONE RAMPAGE: https://planetarystatusreport.com/?p=2904
CLINICAL TRIALS: https://planetarystatusreport.com/?p=10501
Hovercraft Rosebud: https://planetarystatusreport.com/?p=10492
Thankyou == Fuck You: https://planetarystatusreport.com/?p=10488
TRIKE VIEW: https://planetarystatusreport.com/?p=10484
Dragon Hill Friendship: https://planetarystatusreport.com/?p=10478
We Had Pam Grier: https://planetarystatusreport.com/?p=10474
The Spotify thing: https://planetarystatusreport.com/?p=10448
The Farce: https://planetarystatusreport.com/?p=10446
Bite the hand: https://planetarystatusreport.com/?p=10429
ZIONISM: https://planetarystatusreport.com/?p=10427
Penis Curse: https://planetarystatusreport.com/?p=10422
ANGER EMERGENCY!
MP3: https://planetarystatusreport.com/mp3/20231217_ZONE_Z_RAY_ANGER_EMERGENCY.mp3
Donate: https://www.paypal.com/paypalme/doctorfreckles
Declaring an emergency: https://planetarystatusreport.com/?p=10591
Santa Unchained: https://planetarystatusreport.com/?p=10588
Naked Lunch: https://planetarystatusreport.com/?p=10586
I’m not getting smarter: https://planetarystatusreport.com/?p=10584
Scale: https://planetarystatusreport.com/?p=10580
Change: https://planetarystatusreport.com/?p=10578
I’m a hermit: https://planetarystatusreport.com/?p=10576
I’ve been naming the deer: https://planetarystatusreport.com/?p=10574
Wants and needs: https://planetarystatusreport.com/?p=10572
Jimmy Buffet: https://planetarystatusreport.com/?p=10570
Swimming pools: https://planetarystatusreport.com/?p=10566
Healing salve: https://planetarystatusreport.com/?p=10564
China’s Potemkin Villages: https://planetarystatusreport.com/?p=10562
Twitter: https://planetarystatusreport.com/?p=10560
Horrible suspicions: https://planetarystatusreport.com/?p=10558
The most common lie: https://planetarystatusreport.com/?p=10555
Wizards: https://planetarystatusreport.com/?p=10552
First they came for the anarchists: https://planetarystatusreport.com/?p=10550
Saved the world: https://planetarystatusreport.com/?p=10548
501C3: https://planetarystatusreport.com/?p=10546
FUCKING PINEAPPLE: https://planetarystatusreport.com/?p=10539
How can we?: https://planetarystatusreport.com/?p=10536
Alex Jones: https://planetarystatusreport.com/?p=10534
The Antichrist: https://planetarystatusreport.com/?p=10532
Davy Jones’ Locker: https://planetarystatusreport.com/?p=10529
If democracy worked: https://planetarystatusreport.com/?p=10527
The real pandemic: https://planetarystatusreport.com/?p=10524
Plan 10 from outer space: https://planetarystatusreport.com/?p=10521
It’s a trap: https://planetarystatusreport.com/?p=10519
Wars and armies: https://planetarystatusreport.com/?p=10517
Drinks with a Dane: https://planetarystatusreport.com/?p=10514
Ultimate mind fuck: https://planetarystatusreport.com/?p=10512
A free republic: https://planetarystatusreport.com/?p=10510
A piece of land: https://planetarystatusreport.com/?p=10508
I AM DECLARING A ZONE-Z-RAY ANGER EMERGENCY: 3
I am declaring a general population scale anger emergency.
I saw 4 boomers stomp down some drog-herder in aisle 3 at WALMART.
I saw a young boy build a flame device, and descuzzlate the great forge.
I saw the burst of fire from those three mountains, that stare at us in the night.
It’s three times worse than what I’m saying here.
The triangle has 3 sides, 3 corners, 3 forms of love – your woman has a golden glove she wears to bed each night!
You live on Planet 3 …
There are 3 ways to fall …
There are 3 ways to go …
There are 3 ways to know you are fucked in a blender suspender …
Your body has 3 holes, into which you can insert chunks of coal … eh Santa?
A time god named Neil, tried to find an easy steal, his heart full of pain, from being around 3 astronauts hanging brains for 3 days … in a steal can … made for man … there and back, sack up man! YOU ARE GOING TO THE MOON!
Last night you had a 3 way with your wife and Ex-wife all because of THREE.
You have 3 seconds until your next stroke …
You have 3 years until you are broke …
There are 3 ways to master a flute …
There are 3 rules inside your mind.
Three means by which to find, a new land, in the sand, not far from ROBOT JAPAN!
THAT HONDA ROBOT HATES ME! (3 times)
3 tunnels in the ground …
3 flares are fired at midnight.
3 sounds shatter the silence.
3 shots rung out, eh JFK?
3 villages glowing in phosphorous …
3 people lay dead.
3 children pledge a vow.
3 years they plan revenge.
3 more graves to be dug.
THAT ASTRONAUT MEME: “It was always a death star …”