“Evil is often dumb as fuck.” – Dr. Freckles
WEGOVY (helped us lose dead weight in our lives)
STARRING STEPHEN BALDWIN …
I’m raising money to make this movie, starring Stephen Baldwin, and I figure I need at least $5,000 to pay him … maybe 10.
It’s a movie about a dude that finds a time machine in his backyard, left there by aliens eons ago, and he decides to travel through time and kill random people …
The movie is called TIME SHREDDER …
It’s big … HUGE.
His name will be YARD COOLIDGE and he’ll have a hooker girlfriend named Tina. They start making love after they arrive in the time of the ANCIENT GREEKS and then become the overlords of time zone JELLY …
This movie will make BANK at the box office …
PG13 rating …
I’m gonna make this other movie, STARRING STEPHEN BALDWIN …
It will be about some rogue comet heading towards the EARTH, and it’s OUT OF CONTROL and NOTHING CAN BE DONE … but REX STAR BLASTER (Stephen Baldwin) can save the day …
REX has a suit of cobalt-platinum-steel and a sidekick named Neil …
REX flies a rocket ship into outer space and uses his NEUTRONIC BEAM to split the comet into two smaller pieces … so that these pieces can be deflected using a tractor beam thingy …
AND I JUST NEED 6 MILLION DOLLARS TO MAKE THIS MOVIE … big.
We’ll get SHANNON TWEED to CO STAR … she’s old though … is she alive?
Maybe we’ll get that brunette ho-bag from the ATT commercials, the one with the BIG JUGGS …
But we’re still short funds.
I’ve got this other IDEA for a HUGE SERIES on NETFLIX, also STARRING STEPHEN BALDWIN …
Stephen plays a traveling minstrel and story teller in faerie tale times …
He wanders around small villages, playing songs and making people laugh …
But he also steals OLD PEOPLE and CHOPS THEM UP and PLACES THEM IN A GRINDER powered by a water wheel … it’s bad …
We think we can shoot the whole thing in Slovakia … use porn stars for the cast.
But we need some MONEY … now.
We were thinking about this project …
A BIG PROJECT …
A MOVIE ABOUT TRAVELING to MARS!
STARRING: STEPHEN BALDWIN
He’s gonna have a BIG PART – “Captain Hellstrom” of the ASTRONAUTICAL SOCIETY …
They’ve lost contact with their base on MARS …
Hellstrom is being sent there to FIND OUT what went wrong, what happened …
His sexy love interest, “Commander Leslie”, might be played by some washed up actress … maybe Sandra Bullock … maybe Zellweger …
Here are some other ideas:
- “Island Passion”: the story of a washed up sea captain that falls in love with a native in Tasmania …
- “CUBA DEBACLE”: Stephen plays a spy, on the run, being chased by all sides, not knowing WHY till it’s too late …
- “MISSILE ALERT”: the story of a team of eco-terrorists taking over a US missile complex, and Stephen Baldwin plays the janitor that saves the day …
A lot of cool projects …
STARRING STEPHEN BALDWIN …
Man on a tricycle …
“Don’t mess with an adult man on a tricycle … he’s already got enough problems.” – Dr. Freckles
Your woman and RFK JR …
Your woman wants RFK JR …
Your woman wants RFK JR to INGUGDOOLATE HER …
Your woman has fantasies about RFK JR tying her UP and flogging her with some sexual flogging tool you’d buy off the back pages of Hustler …
Your woman is at home, right now, thinking about RFK JR.
Your woman took a long lunch last week with her old college friend, Kendra, and they both made a LOVE PACT to find RFK JR and to allow HIM to insert his power wand into their boovulas and in that way make ba-ba-ba-babies …. that’s what your woman said on FACEBOOK.
Your woman has been YOUTUBE talking about RFK JR and his abs and his pecks and she’s really JUICING IT UP …
Your woman recently took a “moistness test” at her gynecologist office, thinking about RFK JR and about being pinned to some nasty dirty bed in some alley some place.
Your woman started writing this “romance novel” …
It’s about her and some old pirate named “Rob” …
They fight the British Navy and get exiled to a swamp and sex oil grease island where they are both scantily clad and it’s humid, and there is plenty of rope.
She loves him.
Your woman has been trotting around town in slinky outfits, meeting up with greasy dudes at the Screw Bar in Grinken Town. She wears torn fishnet stockings and had poorly drawn makeup and she’s kinda drunk and high on crack.
Your woman is driving your car out to the beach …
She’s wearing a bikini that has see through cups …
She bought SKUZZ WAX from TANDRY’S off of Digton Street, where the hooker congregate and trade stories of their “fishing trips” …
Your woman is hot and spicy and there’s no holding her back …
She knows what she WANTS and she WANTS RFK JR …
Your woman dreams about RFK JR and his JUICED OUT chest …
She knows his testicles have shrunk back into his body because of his dosing, it explains his voice and his acne … but she wants him.