MP3: https://planetarystatusreport.com/mp3/20230822_KITCHEN_DICK.mp3
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KITCHEN-DICK:
- It’s a road out here by Dungeness Spit, near Sequim – read “SQUIM”? – am I right?
- A lot of roads around Dungeness Spit are named after porn stars, porn stars that arrived here with Peter Puget (also kind of phallic) hundreds of eons ago.
- One of Peter’s crew members predicted, it is loosely said, that “After the Age of Boblimptock comes the Age of Thresa, when everyone will eat turtle pudding, and eyes of drunken hawks.”
- I was at the McDonald’s using there WiFi, and I stepped into the bathroom. As I left an old due on an EZ-RIDER electric scooter came for me, heading right at me, but at the last minute he turned towards his table, giving me another day of life.
- Our campsite is near the trail that access the bluffs … people come by that spot and see me smoking my cig … I got no porch … but I could be a kitchen-dick …
- At the gas station, gassing up my brother’s truck, the attendant said – “would you like lies with that” … we smiled … we’re keeping an eye out for her.
- We went to a THAI-GERMAN-FUSION restaurant called Uncle Grayley’s … it was poorly lit and covered in spit … a woman named Debbie brought us our food … we slopped it up on a wobbly table as strange folk entered the establishment. A guy named Rich sat down behind us and started telling us stories of Gypsy rockets landing near Mt. Olympus. He said: “up in those hills the wookie people wait, harvesting eel-skins for their big foot gliders. They’ll come riding down from the mountain tops, like the thunderbird of old, with burning eyes and seething loins … they haven’t kicked off their WAR yet … but you better bet they will.” My brother got italian style fried yogurt and I ate twice chewed pork.
- Derek the crab master, scraping from the bottom what protein he can find.
- Jenna, the skeev-maiden, milking squirrels to make a dime, and she’s covered in the patina of dirg-flesh and burnt skin and a furrowed brow.
- We got back to the campsite and we couldn’t have a fire … fire danger or dark age, you be the judge.
“Where there’s smoke, there’s a hobo.” – Dr. Freckles
“One door closes, another one gets slammed in your face.” – Dr. Freckles
“As you look to the past, you see the future.” – Dr. Freckles
“Your life does NOT need a laugh track, just look around buddy.” – Dr. Freckles
“Things that are risky today, will be dangerous tomorrow, and deadly by next week.” – Dr. Freckles