“Hoi polloi is ancient Greek for garbage people.” – Dr. Freckles
Pick Up Lines …
“Baby, wanna sample my cheese whiz?”
“Oh, Colby Jack …”
“I really love your tits and ass …”
“Oh My Colby … stop”
I’m going to go to a bar, next Friday, and walk up to some woman and say “baby, wanna sample my steak sauce?”
And she’ll say “sure”, and we’ll make love in the bathroom at the CHEVRON.
Colby Jack?
He’s got a 9 inch cock and knows how to use hit …
He massages a woman’s happy-zone so she squeeze out some squish-juice and your pushing it up inside, eh, Colby …
And after? – he buys her boob oils.
When I find my woman on the bed?
All greasy and ready and pouting with her tucked lower lips?
And her valley is on fire?
I press my minktus-pipe up to her, and whisper c# API commands into her ear, and then she turns on … literally … because I bought her, a sex doll, from a Korean dude.
Pickup Line:
“Hey baby … wanna give me a hand job in your car so I can blow my load … I don’t have a car … nice tooth, btw.”
Pickup line:
“a woman’s flower is a petal mystery”
I say this to you and your legs split open and your arms grow limp, as I slam my pork sword into your egg-hole. And we fall in love and get married at Shakey’s …
MR CRAB APPLE
Mr. Crab apple lives in the woods, never up to anything good. He streaks at night, in the glimmer of the Moon, and nigh too soon the sun rises to mock his banditry.
Playing pretend …
“Everyone gets to play pretend, when the show is at its end.” – Dr. Freckles
Noodle, noodle, yankee doodle …
I was at the WALMART, and this dude, in some sort of hypno state, was muttering:
“noodle, noodle,
yankee doodle,
drop that bomb,
on Old Saddam”
It sounded like it, truly he was at ramming speed with his shopping cart and I just got out of his insane way and didn’t take notes.
But folks: it’s getting crazier out there
The dude at WALMART …
He wasn’t angry, he wasn’t sad … he was crazy.
Painting logs black …
“You paint logs black when you ain’t got no real cannon.” – Dr. Freckles
The last one …
“If some advertiser tells me this is the ‘last one I’ll ever need to buy’, they’re either lying or their product sucks and no one buys another.” – Dr. Freckles
MARK MY WORDS!
“The only people who should be allowed to say ‘mark my words’ are villains, in Scooby-Doo episodes.” – Dr. Freckles
Famous Thoreau quote …
This is a reworking of a famous Thoreau quote:
“You keep voting, I’ll keep drinking – let’s see who stays sober the longest.” – Dr. Freckles
Thoreau: “I was not born to be forced. I will breathe after my own fashion. Let us see who is the strongest.”
A great song …
“A great song is one you feel as if you heard it before, even if it is really the first time. Because it tells the story of life.” – Dr. Freckles